Masochism: a study

myinnerartistseden:

Hit me

Slap me

Punch me

Make me hurt

Give me pain

Because

sometimes I need to cry,

but can’t

sometimes I need to scream,

but don’t,

sometimes I need to hurt,

just so I can feel something.

Take me away.

Take away my thoughts and feelings and decisions.

Take away everything but…

At dinner she asked why I write such sad poems. And I told her, ‘my poems are not sad, they are masochistic.’ My poems like a good choking, a good spanking. They want to be bound and gagged and told what to do. There is a pleasure that my poems derive from being under such control; from having trauma recalled and then stripped of its agency.

Christopher Soto (aka Loma), “Resisting Tropes: On Poetry, Masochism, & Domestic Violence,” published on VIDA’s website (via bostonpoetryslam)